Healing Mr Darcy’s Heart Page 5

  He clears his throat then continues. “Therein I found out about her proclivity for what we call a dirty stop. Instead of jumping said creek as most horses would, she locked her legs, ducked her head, and halted suddenly. As you can imagine, most riders would be hard pressed to stay astride. I flew over her head and landed in a large soft area of mud. The filly stood there looking at me as I emerged covered in the goo; Henry almost lost his seat laughing so hard and what’s worse is I had to retrieve one boot out of the mud where it had been pulled off my foot,” Darcy cocks his head at Elizabeth. “Go ahead laugh; it is a funny story.”

  Elizabeth laughs, and Darcy joins in while taking up his tale again. “Of course I could not put my filthy foot back into my boot nor put my filthy body on the saddle, so the walk back took an inordinate amount of time. At this point, our company arrived. My father was not at all pleased with the outcome of this excursion and let me know in no uncertain terms. He then turned to Henry to chastise him for not setting the example as an older child, but Henry replied,”- here Darcy begins to mimic the Colonel perfectly, “’oh yes Sir I understood most certainly Master Fitzwilliam was not to go about outside but he would not listen to reason.’ Henry delivered this line with such remorse my father instead blamed me. A hearty apology to my mother and guests were to be my penance as well as a written statement about what transpired along with a written apology. I sent a similar statement to Lord Matlock, Henry’s father who proceeded to give Henry quite a tongue lashing.” Elizabeth is treated to the sound of genuine laughter coming from Mr. Darcy. “So you see why I took advantage of a little water on the floor. My poor shirt was ruined, as has happened just a few days ago. Seems to be a recurring theme,” here the corner of his mouth lifts slightly as he taps his fingers over his lips. Elizabeth warms to his jesting.

  “Now to address the balls. Henry told you I steered him towards the woman his brother hoped to court? I see. Rest assured Colin did court her and married her, so all turned out well in the end. What he did not tell you is at a prior ball he managed to partner me with two very unattractive and flighty young ladies. I could not bow out of escorting them onto the dance floor when their respective dances came up. I am sure he also told you I am not at my best in these social gatherings, an unfortunate truth you are painfully aware of...,” Darcy lowers his eyes and bows his head. “Miss Elizabeth, I deeply apologize for my behavior towards you at the Meryton assembly. It is unpardonable; I beg your forgiveness.” Elizabeth reaches over and squeezes his hand. Darcy looks at her gratified that she accepted his apology. He stares into her eyes then takes up his tale.

  “I made small talk as best as I could which is to say not much. Both ladies though thought I had taken an interest in them and their mothers were most anxious for them to make a match. The worst was yet to come. The next dance I was partnered with a woman of shall we say, forgive me, low moral standards. She was well known to the crowd as such, and a minor scandal erupted when Mr. Darcy of Pemberley was to escort her to the dance floor. I created a prevarication regarding my ankle. This same lady offered me all sorts of ‘comforts’ to ease my misery, and the other ladies I had danced with were scandalized thinking I sought this courtesan out. Henry was filled with glee, and it was Georgiana who came to my rescue. She attended me and made a show of getting me refreshments and seeing to my supposedly injured ankle. She shot Henry such a look of reproach that he had the decency to look ashamed.” A small wry smile flits across Darcy’s face as he continues.

  “Did you know this incident is why the report follows me regarding my dislike of dancing? I suppose it is true I am only most at ease when partnered with someone I feel familiar with. Here at Netherfield I was partnered most agreeably but failed to let my partner know how much I enjoyed the dance,” Elizabeth blushes as Darcy continues, “it is my hope the lady will forgive me for my lack of proper deportment.”

  Elizabeth proclaims the gentleman in question is most assuredly forgiven and thanks him for the delightful telling of his stories. As she speaks, Darcy fixes his eyes upon her with an easy smile which makes Darcy look all the more handsome. Conversation stalls as he gazes on Lizzy with peace on his face, but then it seems as if he remembers himself and he asks, “May I have the favor of your presence at tea time this afternoon? I should find some rest now before I thrash Henry at chess, but I would be delighted to share some more time with you, perhaps to exchange some stories of your youth?” Elizabeth agrees to return at tea time.

  Chapter 7

  While waiting for tea time Lizzy seeks out Jane who is sewing in the sitting room. Both sisters are happy to note Caroline seems to have made herself scarce over the last few days. The reprieve is welcomed as neither care to hear her condescending comments and bear her superior attitude. Lizzy eagerly tells Jane of her anticipated time with Mr. Darcy, her eyes shining and her smile bursting. Lizzy is not given to overt displays of emotion, but she can barely contain herself as she relates the opposing stories offered by the Colonel and Darcy. Lizzy comments on Mr. Darcy’s amiable personality, his wit, and his intelligence. They both find amusement in the follies of others but never did Lizzy expect that Mr. Darcy could make sport of himself as he does. He is self-deprecating, and she finds it lovable. Why does he hide such a wonderful character behind that scowl? She sobers as she remembers the Colonel’s explanations and Jane’s observations. He is a man who is used to people trying to play him. If these people knew what a gentle and loyal soul he is, he would have a more difficult time with the ton.

  After a few hours and some primping, Lizzy is ready to have the housekeeper escort her to Mr. Darcy’s room, but instead, she is diverted to a small sitting room nearby. The sight therein brings tears of joy to her eyes. Not only is Mr. Darcy fully dressed but he arranged for a table, two chairs, tea and some light snacks. He broadly smiles upon Lizzy’s entrance and gestures to the nearest chair. “Allow me,” he pulls the chair out for Elizabeth then proceeds to the opposite chair. There are small dainty white flowers in a vase, some assorted sweetbreads, and tea. It is altogether a cozy environment. The door is left open to assure respectability.

  “I do not know what to say. This is all so pleasing. Are you sure you are up to all this? It has not been long since the fever left you.” Elizabeth asks with true concern. Mr. Darcy is still pale, and although he goes to lengths to conceal his discomfort, Lizzy can tell his shoulder pains him from time to time. However, it does not seem to impede Darcy from wanting to make a good impression on Lizzy.

  “I am certain this is where I want to be. I needed to be away from my room for a bit, and I thought that nothing could be more inviting nor healing than tea with you,” Darcy states as he pours her a cup of tea. “I know what I would like you to say; I hoped you would consent to regale me with some youthful tales of your own,” his mouth is turned up again at the corner, and his eyes twinkle. He is tall and broad as well as muscular. He is not a man of leisure to be sure. Elizabeth feels a slight blush come on as she remembers holding his hand. She had looked at the black hairs on the back of it marking his maleness. Her eyes at that point traveled up his arm, and she saw the well-defined muscles of his arm which further marked his maleness. The only troubling aspect of their interlude in Elizabeth’s mind is the apparent stiffness with which Darcy moves his injured shoulder. She still feels remorse for his suffering. She desires to appreciate the effort he went through to make this time pleasurable, so she replies to him.

  “I am not certain I have anecdotes to rival those you and your cousin told earlier, but I will be happy to share my recollections with you,” Lizzy says. Lizzy tells Darcy of growing up at Longbourn, some girlish dreams and even some mischief she and Jane had gotten into. Darcy enjoys the banter and adds some of his own. He seems genuine in his desire to know more of Lizzy. He leans forward and engages in the conversation fully. He is intense as always when he looks upon Elizabeth, but she now knows he is not looking at her to criticize, he is smitten. There are a few difficult moments such as when L
izzy spoke of one of Lydia’s early follies which causes Lizzy to thank Darcy for saving the reputations of all the sisters. When he tells her that he thought only of her, Lizzy’s breath is taken away. She beholds his face, and he is staring at her with the intensity he always has, but a soft smile plays on his lips. Just as he begins to open his mouth to speak more Colonel Fitzwilliam shatters the moment.

  “Fitz, they told me you were out of bed. I wanted to see for myself. What a wonderful event,” he proclaims. Bingley is next in the room. He heard their voices and came to investigate. Jane accompanies him too. Last in the room is Caroline. No one encountered her much, so it is with some surprise the others acknowledge her presence.

  “Mr. Darcy I cannot tell you how worried I was for you. I just could not rest knowing how you suffered,” she purrs. Darcy stiffens, and his aloofness comes to the forefront. Bingley frowns and the Colonel rolls his eyes. Jane looks to Lizzy noting that she is watching this transformation of Mr. Darcy. Caroline is oblivious to the expressions of the others in the room. “Surely Mr. Darcy you are not up to this many people disturbing your rest. Allow me to escort some out of the room,” she looks pointedly at Elizabeth, “it is my duty as Mistress to see to the needs of all my guests.”

  Darcy in the meantime comes to a decision. His tea time tete-a-tete with Elizabeth is shattered, and in truth, he is beginning to tire and his shoulder aches. “Miss Bingley that will not be necessary. I would ask instead, you speak to Cook about a tray in my room as I will retire there early to rest. I thank you for reminding me of duty, to that end, Charles I would ask to have use of your study tomorrow if it is otherwise unoccupied and Henry I would ask if you would assist Barnabas in assembling my estate papers so I may peruse them tomorrow in the study. Furthermore, I do need to speak to you both, Henry and Charles. Much needs to be addressed and clarified. Please forgive me my abruptness but I find I am growing weary.” The Colonel lifts his brows but does not comment; Caroline scurries from the room to do Darcy’s bidding while Jane leaves on Bingley’s arm. The Colonel comes to escort Elizabeth out, but before he does, Darcy addresses her directly. “Before the others come to the study, Miss Elizabeth, I would request a moment to speak with you. It is time I attended to all of my duties.” Elizabeth gives her consent, and as she turns away, she sees Darcy shake his head and shrug his shoulders as she notes the sudden weariness he spoke of seems to claim him.

  Lizzy sits with Jane in a small parlor with a cozy fire in the hearth. The furnishings are homey and warm and lend an air of relaxation to the area. Lizzy feels the need to discuss Mr. Darcy’s sudden change in attitude. She is perplexed by what she had witnessed and wants to hear Jane’s perspective on the interaction.

  “While I would not say he barked out orders, he made it clear he expected his wishes to be carried out. Caroline gave me a frosty stare for being in the sitting room with Mr. Darcy. I so wanted to tell her I was the only one invited. But what concerns me more is the statement Mr. Darcy made to Caroline about remembering his duty. Jane, I worry that in the light of day, Mr. Darcy may have thought my actions in his sickroom to be unladylike. Perhaps he was again ruminating upon our family’s lack of connections? Such a confusing man!”

  Jane collects her thoughts then speaks, “Mr. Bingley assures me that the Mr. Darcy you have seen in the last couple of days is the true man. He really is quite amiable, if he weren’t, think how your reception would have been at Pemberley. Keep in mind too, Lizzy that he is recovering from a grievous injury and subsequent illness. I think we can give him the leeway to be a bit abrupt.”

  “What you say makes much sense in hindsight, and I will try not to let my past prejudices cloud my thinking now.” Elizabeth stares into the fire and thinks about the word Colonel Fitzwilliam used to describe Darcy – diabolical. She questioned the use of such a strong word to describe his cousin, but the Colonel laughed it off. Now Elizabeth wonders if the Colonel was trying to warn her away from Darcy gently. Then why would he share such wonderful and humorous anecdotes from their childhood? She does not believe the Colonel would participate in any vengeful plot against her, but she starts to question the interactions with Darcy. Had she imagined the warmth and humor he displayed or is he that good of an actor? Could any man fake the emotion she had noted in his eyes when he looked at her? Another voice in Elizabeth’s head sneers that she will never measure up to someone like Caroline. Well, Mr. Darcy, we will see what you have in store for me tomorrow, my courage always rises with any attempt to intimidate me.

  Mr. Darcy meanwhile is having his own conversation with himself. Why did I become all haughty and demanding with my friends and family? Have I not learned anything from Elizabeth’s admonishments? Caroline. Yes, my natural response to a patronizing woman is always to distance myself and remain detached. How will Elizabeth view my behavior especially my command for her and the others to meet with me tomorrow like some business deal? Ach! I am a fool. Perhaps I am pushing too hard. Yourself and your illness or Miss Elizabeth? I love her, and she told me she needs me. Would she not have meant that and only said as such because she felt pity for me, gratitude for my efforts with those scoundrels? No woman could be that cold especially not Elizabeth. Her compassion for others drew me to her. Along with her wit and intellect. She would be a magnificent Mistress of Pemberley. No, Elizabeth always speaks her mind. She would not have offered me a prevarication. I will retire early, work on the estate concerns and then tell Miss Elizabeth of my love for her and accept my fate.

  Chapter 8

  After a fitful night of rest, Lizzy again embarks upon a walk in the garden. She bundled up against the chill but cannot seem to ward off the chill which takes hold of her heart. She knows she loves Mr. Darcy, the amiable man of the last few days as well as the honorable man who protected her and her sisters. Lizzy has much to ponder on as the Colonel becomes a walking companion soon after Lizzy begins her wanderings. He talks about the weather, travels he has taken, books read and some more of growing up with Darcy.

  “Forgive me Colonel, but I must ask, was Wickham a companion during these times?”

  “Yes, Wickham was there. Old Mr. Darcy so favored Wickham’s father he felt obligated to do for the son. Wickham as a youth had the same easy nature as he does now, but he was always conniving. How Darcy put up with it, I do not know. Darcy and I have a friendly rivalry built on mutual admiration and genuine fellowship. Wickham has always sought to divide. He tried to divide Darcy from his father by ingratiating himself with the elder Darcy, he tried to divide Darcy from Georgiana, and he succeeded in taking your sister from the bosom of her family. Wickham never cared for me because I never tolerated his manipulations. Darcy was aware of them as well, but he felt as long as he remained a step ahead of Wickham, he’d be able to keep him in check. We all know how that played out,” the Colonel spits out.

  “I did not mean to bring up such a distasteful subject, Colonel, please forgive me.”

  “I did not mean to speak so freely nor harshly Miss Elizabeth. I know Wickham has no love for our family. Especially for Darcy. The only truth he told is he blames Darcy for all of his misfortunes. The truth he will not speak is that his misfortunes are of his own making, not Darcy’s.”

  “I am aware of his perfidy regarding both Miss Darcy and Mr. Darcy. I will not be led astray again by Mr. Wickham and his lies. No matter he is married to my sister. In that Wickham has been punished. Lydia is her mother’s daughter,” Elizabeth states.

  “Darcy has been plagued by Wickham more than any of us know. It is a cruel fact,” the Colonel responds. “Come we best head in, you have an appointment to keep,” the Colonel’s eyes glow with mischief.

  Elizabeth squares her shoulders as she is announced. The study door swings open and reveals Darcy standing behind the desk. He is shuffling the papers strewn across the desk and running his fingers through his hair. His shoulder is throbbing, and he was ruminating over a tenant dispute which had plagued him long before he returned to Netherfield. He is irritat
ed, and contempt shows in his whole being. He almost absentmindedly gestures to the housekeeper to have Elizabeth seated. With a snort of disgust, he gives up on his mission, throws his glasses down on the desk and fixes his gaze upon Elizabeth.

  During this time, Elizabeth monitored Darcy’s reactions most closely. Her agitation increased as she viewed his fractious conduct. Why… he has worked himself into quite a tiff, well he has another thing coming if he chooses to dismiss me callously. Hunsford will be nothing to what I will give Mr. High and Mighty this time. Elizabeth thinks this, but the truth be told, she feels to her dismay tears beginning to prickle in the corners of her eyes. He will not see me cry nor will he know he hurt me. The loss of his regard threatens to break Elizabeth even as she tries to summon her courage for the confrontation to come.

  Then he looks upon her. His eyes soften, and his whole demeanor changes. Gone is the stiffness and disorder of a few moments ago. Gone is the distraction and agitation. Elizabeth holds no doubt as to the emotion she sees blazed across his face, it is love. Those tears she feared are to become tears of joy. He slowly comes around the desk to where she is seated. “Forgive me, I have been dealing with a most vexing tenant dispute and for a moment forgot myself. With you here, I find I am calmed…” here he seems to gather himself, “Elizabeth, you are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are what they were last April tell me so at once. My wishes and affections are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me forever. If your feelings have changed, I must tell you I love you. Tell me I still have hope with you?” Darcy gently coaxes Elizabeth to stand from the chair.