Healing Mr Darcy’s Heart Read online

  Elizabeth searches his face seeing his anxiety and his vulnerability. She wants to end his suffering, “My feelings to which you allude have undergone such a dramatic change that I most heartily welcome your addresses, and I have to say not only did I tell you I needed you but you must know that I love you too.” Darcy releases a great shuddering sigh and bursts into a radiant smile which reflects the pure love and elation he feels.

  Elizabeth is only vaguely aware of her tears of joy as Darcy slowly trails his hands down her arms until he is on one knee before her. Elizabeth’s hands fly to her mouth as he beholds her countenance. He reaches for then grasps her dainty hands in his while asking her the most momentous question of their lives, “Elizabeth, will you be my wife?”

  “Yes, I will, oh yes, I will. It is my fondest wish,” Lizzy shakily replies for Darcy now stands up and encompasses her in a tender hug. He stares down into her upturned face and gazes deeply into her hazel eyes. He ever so softly brings one hand under her chin turning her face upward a bit more, hesitates, then brings his lips down to hers, brushing them with a downy touch. Elizabeth is overcome with new sensations such as she never felt before. They are wonderful. When Darcy increases the pressure ever so slightly to her lips, Lizzy feels as if she never lived nor experienced life before. She knows she is meant to be with this man. He is her world, and she is his world. Darcy draws back and holds her close whispering endearments into her hair. “I came back for you. When the fever tore through me, and I felt as though I could not survive, it was your voice calling me back. You gave me hope when I thought all was lost. What do I not owe you? You, Elizabeth allowed me to come out of the shadows of a prideful life and taught me a hard lesson about what it is to be worthy of a woman such as you. You saved me from a life of loneliness and bitterness. I love you most ardently,” Darcy passionately declares.

  Elizabeth steadies herself and brushes the hair from his brow, “You saved me Fitzwilliam. You allowed me to be a woman with her thoughts and opinions. Any other man would insist I submit and I would know disappointment in that type of union. You are a man I can respect and esteem, and also I am hopelessly in love with you.”

  “Then it is settled,” Darcy begins with the adorable lift to the side of his mouth, “we are to be the happiest couple on the earth.” Lizzy giggles.

  “You have declared it so, and all the world must know it to be true because Mr. Darcy always speaks honestly,” she challenges him.

  Darcy breaks out into an infectious grin which spreads to Lizzy, “See we will do well together as you have already bowed to my superior wisdom.” He watches her closely to see how she will respond to such a provocation. Elizabeth does not disappoint.

  “I believe, Mr. Darcy I most eloquently told you how I felt you to be the only man who would allow me the freedom to express myself at will. I pray I am not in error?” she cocks her head to the side and flashes him a smug grin. Darcy laughs deep within his chest, gathers Elizabeth in his arms and lays his head upon hers.

  “I welcome your opinions and heartily agree to give you the freedom to express yourself. I look forward to the stimulating discourse,” Darcy says as his hands trace lazy circles on her back. “I must ask though, did my letter, did it upon reading it change your mind about me. Parts of it I fear were written in a bitter frame of mind. I hope you have burned it as I would dread you ever being able to read it again.”

  Elizabeth pulls back from his embrace to see his face better, “while the letter may have started in bitterness, the adieu is charity itself. The persons who both wrote and read the letter have such different feelings that I think it would be best if the unpleasantness is to be forgotten. Think of the past only as it gives you pleasure.” Darcy thinks upon this while a fresh rush of love for this woman consumes him.

  “While I would absolve you of any guilt in our past interactions, I cannot do the same for myself. Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, ought not, be repelled. My parents though good themselves allowed me to grow up selfish, not to correct my temper, and to follow their good principles in pride and conceit. I was encouraged, almost taught to be selfish, to care for none beyond my own family and to think meanly upon the rest of the world. Such I was from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still be, but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth,” Darcy pronounces. Both of them examine how they finally came to this understanding. Lizzy frets over what Darcy might have thought of her visit to Pemberley, while he assures her he looked at it as an opportunity to show her he had changed. They talk over their past misconceptions of each other, the perfidy of Wickham, Darcy’s aunt, and his injury and recovery. They both realize the gravity of his illness allowed them to express themselves more openly than convention would have allowed. They embrace the new understanding they have of each other and are grateful for it but cannot forget the fear they felt when Darcy became so ill. They are both seated, knees touching with Darcy holding Lizzy’s hands in his as they talk. It is then the Colonel comes in.

  As he espies the sitting arrangement, he triumphantly voices, “I knew it! I knew it! Fitz, tell me you have finally declared yourself to this magnificent woman?”

  Darcy rises slowly to address his cousin, “do not call me Fitz, I have my wits about me now. In response to your declaration, yes Miss Elizabeth has agreed to become my wife. You, however, should learn to knock on a door before entering.”

  “It is an open door, and I was invited, remember Fitz? You imperiously issued the order that Bingley and I were to attend to you in the study this afternoon,” sniffs Colonel Fitzwilliam. Darcy draws a long-suffering sigh and regards his cousin with a crafty stare.

  “I heard my name mentioned, is there an issue of which I should be made aware?” Bingley followed the Colonel into the study with Jane on his arm. Elizabeth smiles expressively at Jane and Jane knows in an instant that Lizzy’s fondest wish has been granted. Jane gazes upon Darcy with warmth because she knows him to be the man who in talents and disposition is the best match for her most beloved sister.

  “Come now, what’s this? Mr. Darcy is to be left alone here to attend his business. I fear such interruptions are tiring Mr. Darcy out. Charles, where are your manners? Indeed, I cannot imagine how callous you are not to allow Mr. Darcy his time and rest. Am I the only one who seems to care?” Miss Bingley pompously declares as she enters the study. Elizabeth reflects in her mind how Caroline was absent during Mr. Darcy’s illness. Caroline’s extent of worry consisted of shopping, playing the pianoforte, and studying dress sketches. Elizabeth is struck with the notion of how Caroline mirrored the shallowness of the women found in the ton. While Elizabeth would have been nowhere else but at Mr. Darcy’s side, Caroline considered his infirmity to be an inconvenience she wanted no part of. Now when Darcy appears to be well on his way to recovery, Caroline reverts to her usual false placating. Elizabeth is glad to know Mr. Darcy will never be tied to such a cold mercenary woman.

  No one in the room responds to Caroline’s outrageous claim immediately. There is an embarrassment for Caroline as most hold similar feelings as Elizabeth’s. The Colonel, in particular, is disgusted. Jane feels for Mr. Bingley as Caroline’s behavior distressed him many times before but it is Darcy who responds first. Elizabeth notes him scanning the room, taking in the emotions of the occupants and upon seeing the upturn to his mouth, she waits to see what mischief he concocted. She is beginning to comprehend this man and the impression is favorable.

  Standing up to his full height, he replaces his glasses on the bridge of his nose; then he pierces Miss Bingley with a haughty stare. The Colonel begins to grin, fully expecting Miss Bingley to learn of Darcy’s betrothal and is waiting for the coming hysterics. Instead, the good Colonel should not have underestimated Darcy’s warnings about calling him Fitz repeatedly. “Miss Bingley, I assure you I am more than capable of handling my business while guests are about. As to your concern…” Darcy draws the word out to underscore her lack of such, “…while I was ill, I will allay any of
your fears and give you to know I feel better than I have in a long while.” He rests his eyes upon Elizabeth, “Indeed I am most content.” Elizabeth feels the flush creep up her neck. Darcy smirks.

  Again Darcy turns his attention back to Miss Bingley as she replies, “Well Mr. Darcy, I can see you are much improved, and with the departure of some of our guests this afternoon, I looked forward to a quiet supper and conversation.”

  “Alas Miss Bingley, I must disappoint. I will be accompanying Charles and the Bennet ladies back to Longbourn this very afternoon. However, my cousin, being all that is magnanimous has graciously offered to take tea with you this afternoon, and he simply would not hear of you dining alone tonight. I pray his good intentions will be rewarded and his company will suffice?”

  The Colonel’s grin becomes plastered to his face as his eyes widen. He has been outmaneuvered and is stunned. Caroline cannot rebuff what Darcy stated without looking as if she has no proper manners. It will not do to refuse Darcy’s cousin. Elizabeth turns her head to not let on her delight at the cunning way her fiancé set up both Miss Bingley and the unfortunate Colonel, but Darcy is not finished.

  “In addition, Miss Bingley, your brother has agreed to another ball here at Netherfield to honor his betrothal to Miss Bennet,” the Colonel begs with his eyes for Darcy to stop at this statement but there is nothing he can do to halt Darcy’s final manipulation, “and once again Colonel Fitzwilliam has indicated to me a most profound desire to escort you to the ball. Charles will, of course, be escorting Jane, and I have hopes of escorting the lovely Miss Elizabeth.” Bingley widely smiles as he recognizes Darcy’s ploy and he excuses himself and Jane to make ready to return to Longbourn. Miss Bingley barely composes herself long enough to acquiesce to Darcy’s scheme before excusing herself to attend to the dining arrangements. She sports a vacant stare.

  “Fitz…” the Colonel begins, which earns a glare from Darcy, “…william. Please-you cannot. I mean…” words fail him.

  “Indeed I do. A gentleman cannot back out of escorting a lady after his intents have been made known. It would not do at all, Henry.” There is a smug look about Darcy now as he removes his spectacles.

  The Colonel turns to leave defeated, “diabolical!” Elizabeth hears him say.

  “Don’t call me Fitz,” comes the reply. Elizabeth and Darcy are now alone together. Darcy turns to Elizabeth, “I hope I have not presumed too much by announcing my intent to escort you to the ball. By then all will know of my good fortune, and I will feed my pride by arriving with the most beautiful woman in the land.” Darcy bows his head a bit. “You do not think poorly of me for the way I handled myself just now?” Darcy looks anxiously to Elizabeth, but he need not worry.

  With an expressive grin and barely contained glee Elizabeth counters with her question, “You do not think poorly of me for enjoying Caroline’s distress. It is shameful and unladylike, but I cannot help myself.”

  “No Elizabeth I do not think poorly of you. I apologize for Caroline’s venom towards you. She has sought my attention for a long while, and she noticed my interest in you. I am afraid you suffered at her hands because of me.”

  “Fitzwilliam, I believe Miss Bingley would have found me lacking in any event. She is most displeased with Jane and positively dreadful towards me. I believe my lively wit proved too much for her,” Elizabeth sniggers.

  “She will be a handful when she finds out about our betrothal. I pity the servants. Speaking of which, I should like to call upon your father as soon as possible. I want to proclaim to all my happiness and joy that we are to be wed.”

  “He will be home I am certain, but I must ask you, how are you feeling? You look hearty but surely your shoulder pains you. The fever has not been long from you. I worry about you and would not want you to overdo. I am yours and another day will not change that.” Elizabeth gently strokes his cheek as she looks into his eyes. The weariness of yesterday is not present, but she still fears for him. Even though he has been alone and caring for himself all these years, Elizabeth now wants to be the one person who sees to his needs and wellbeing.

  Darcy is already shaking his head. “I would like to see your father posthaste. I assure you, My Dear, I am up for a visit. I want your family to know of my love for you. Please.” His eyes are soft, and a contented grin is on his face.

  Elizabeth drops her hand as Darcy studies her countenance. She decides to ask him about his glasses. “I never realized you wore glasses. I am quite surprised.” Elizabeth states.

  The soft chuckle he gives is adorable. “I learned the trick from my father. They give one the appearance of wisdom and as I have found, peering over them at someone usually unnerves him further. It drives Georgiana barmy when I do such to her while I lecture her about some minor infraction or other. But in reality, I do use them at times when I have copious amounts of correspondence or letters of business. They seem to prevent an occasional headache.”

  “One more question then, Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth asks bemusedly, “why do you not like being called Fitz?” Darcy merely shrugs and suggests they both prepare for the trip to Longbourn. He takes her hand and places it on his arm as he leads her out of the study.

  Chapter 9

  Settled comfortably into Bingley’s carriage the sisters conferred on the past day’s events. Jane comments that Mr. Darcy seems mended while Elizabeth frets he is pushing himself too hard. Jane sees that Mr. Darcy appears more content than she remembered ever seeing him. “I believe you have done that for him, Dear Sister,” Jane teases. Elizabeth glances out the window of the carriage at Darcy astride his horse. He raises his riding crop in mock salute to her with a wide smile.

  “Yes, Jane he does seem more at ease. He is an amiable man to be sure, but the real test will be when he is with our family. He is uncomfortable around those he does not know well, and he is used to a different sort of company. I hope Mama will show him some civility. Papa will be taken unawares when Mr. Darcy seeks to speak with him. I have only told you as to my affections for him. How will our parents react when they learn the truth?” Lizzy ponders.

  “Oh Lizzy, you should not worry so! Mama will be in raptures over the fine match you have made, every affront forgotten. Papa will listen to you once you explain to him your regard. I have no doubts.”

  “Mr. Darcy and I spoke about his interview with Papa,” Elizabeth explains, “and I suggested to him to be honest as only he can when Papa asks questions about Mr. Darcy’s affections. I even encouraged him to show Papa some of his humor and wit. It would do well for Papa to see his more affable nature.” Elizabeth tells Jane about the lifting of Darcy’s somber moods and his proclivity for laughter. They share a guilty chuckle regarding Darcy’s dislike of taking medicines.

  Once at Longbourn, Darcy allows himself to be announced to Mr. Bennet. Darcy enters and surveys the room quickly. He thought Mr. Bennet to be an avid reader and though Mr. Bennet’s running of Longbourn is not as Darcy likes, Darcy also recognizes Mr. Bennet as an intelligent man. The gray-haired gentleman sits behind an older desk with various books stacked about, most with markers in them indicating those sections are often perused. Off to another side of the desk sit the ledgers and a pile of bills and cheques. A small tea service waits on a table nearby.

  Peering over his spectacles with a bemused look, Mr. Bennet motions for Darcy to take a seat. Mr. Bennet cannot imagine what this proud disagreeable man would want of him. For a brief moment, he considers that Darcy may be looking to place some sort of blame on the Bennet family for his misfortune, but he quickly disregards the thought. Settling himself for what he determines to be a diverting exchange, he waits for the young man to speak first.

  Darcy decides the unvarnished truth will be the best strategy even though it will lead to moments of disbelief. To that end, he begins. “Mr. Bennet, I sought an audience with you to ask for your blessing to marry your daughter, Miss Elizabeth.” Darcy watches as the man pales, sits up straight and becomes alarmed. The bemused expressio
n is immediately gone to be replaced with one of agitation with a slight bit of panic. Mr. Bennet’s response is quick.

  “Mr. Darcy, forgive me for being so blunt, but my Lizzy is not one who would take kindly to a life of submission to any man especially one who she has stated to me she despised. I cannot fathom how you would conclude my daughter would be a good match for you let alone accept your suit!” Mr. Bennet’s eyes are a bit wild, and Darcy remembers Elizabeth telling him of the close relationship the two of them share. Like Darcy, Mr. Bennet will risk much to spare his loved ones any pain.

  “Mr. Bennet, I understand your confusion and your wish to protect your daughter, and I admire you for your concern. With your permission, I would like to tell you about how Miss Elizabeth and I came to our understanding. You see, she has accepted my suit and I am here with her blessing.” Darcy’s intent stare is on Mr. Bennet.

  “I am all astonishment, Mr. Darcy, pray continue,” Mr. Bennet replies with more composure than he feels as he narrows his eyes and begins to size up this preposterous young man and his claim.

  Drawing a deep breath and with a humorless chuckle, Darcy begins. “At the Meryton assembly, I noticed your daughter right off. Her wit, humor, and intelligence drew me in. Afraid to allow my interest to be known and having recently dealt with a distressing family matter, I instead allowed a cruel and untrue remark to pass my lips regarding Miss Elizabeth’s person. I was foolish and unkind, and it pains me to know I insulted your fine daughter. In the course of my stay here, I also observed Mr. Bingley forming an attachment to your eldest daughter. While Miss Bennet’s looks and manners were open, I again to my shame made a foolish assumption and thought she did not return Bingley’s affections. I took actions to separate my friend from your daughter, misguidedly thinking I was protecting him. Instead, I gave injury to Miss Bennet and Mr. Bingley.” Mr. Bennet’s countenance darkens as he motions to Darcy to continue.